The Nothing

There was once a great divide.

Between what’s seen thru the naked eye.

The things we see as real, or are they really?

Once you forget to feel.

The emptiness of our existence.

The absence of control.

No real purpose, No real goals.

We strive, we hustle, and try endlessly.

But all there is, Is poverty.

We are poor for we dont see.

We are poor because we cant be..

All the while we continue to run the rat race.

No control and with endless haste.

Trying to attain something we thought to be real.

Trying to make use of the time when we were here..

All the more reasons we persevere.

The same reasons that makes us fear.

For so many years we try to find the answer.

We make use of time as if its our master.

We awake in our own living disaster.

We’ll die but until then,

We will live in our own hellish den.

While we strive to find the evidence.

While the mind strives to understand.

We’ll continue to suffer and demand.

Not knowing the truth, that we will never understand.

Is in the silence and at our command..

SA BAWAT PAG GISING..

ANG TANAW KONG KAWALAN ANG NAGSASABI.

NANG MGA KATOTOHANANG DI KAYANG TANGGAPIN SA SARILI.

SA KAWALAN DIN ITINATANGGI..

INIISIP NA MAYROON ITONG IKABUBUTI..

BUO ANG LOOB AT LUBOS ANG PAGPAPANGGAP..

HANGGANG SA ISIP KO’Y DI KANA MAHANAP..

HINDI KO NA MAALALA ANG SIMULANG,

TUMAPOS SA LAHAT..

MATAGAL NG DI SUMISIKAT ANG PAGASA NATING TINATAWAG..

WALA NANG PAKIRAMDAM,

MGA LUHA’Y TUYO NG LAHAT.

SA KABILA NITO’Y LUBOS PA DIN AKONG UMAASA..

NA SA PAG GISING KO AY NARIYAN KA PA..

ANG BUONG BUHAY KO’Y KARIMLAN NG NAWALA KA..

ANG KATOTOHANAN KO’Y NAGSISIMULA,

PAG AKO’Y NANANAGINIP NA..

HINDI KO KAYANG HARAPIN ANG KATOTOHANANG WALA NA,

ANG DAHILAN NG AKING LIGAYA..

WALA AKONG MAGAGAWA KUNG NAISIN KONG BUMALIK KA..

KAHIT NA ANG NAIS KO AY MAKITA KANG MASAYA..

KUMUBLI NA SA ULAP,

AT NANAHIMIK ANG LANGIT..

WALA NG MGA KULAY,

WALA NA DING AWIT..

MALUPIT ANG BAWAT ARAW,

PATI NA ANG BAWAT SAGLIT..

SUMUKO NA SA KALUNGKUTAN ANG PUSO KONG NASA DAPIT.

HINDI NA KINAYANG MABUHAY,

NAKAKULONG SA REALIDAD ANG MGA ALAALA..

SA BAWAT PANAGINIP KO AY NAROON KA..

YAON NA ANG KATOTOHANANG KAYA KONG HARAPIN..

PARA SA AKI’Y NAGSISIMULA ANG PANAGINIP SA BAWAT KONG PAG GISING..

SA AKING PAGTULOG AY NAGSISIMULANG LAHAT.

PAGPIKIT NG MGA MATA’Y LUMILIWANAG AT IKAW AY AKING YAKAP..

SA BAWAT PAG GISING..

ANG TANAW KONG KAWALAN ANG NAGSASABI.

NANG MGA KATOTOHANANG DI KAYANG TANGGAPIN SA SARILI.

SA KAWALAN DIN ITINATANGGI..

INIISIP NA MAYROON ITONG IKABUBUTI..

BUO ANG LOOB AT LUBOS ANG PAGPAPANGGAP..

HANGGANG SA ISIP KO’Y DI KANA MAHANAP..

HINDI KO NA MAALALA ANG SIMULANG,

TUMAPOS SA LAHAT..

MATAGAL NG DI SUMISIKAT ANG PAGASA NATING TINATAWAG..

WALA NANG PAKIRAMDAM,

MGA LUHA’Y TUYO NG LAHAT.

SA KABILA NITO’Y LUBOS PA DIN AKONG UMAASA..

NA SA PAG GISING KO AY NARIYAN KA PA..

ANG BUONG BUHAY KO’Y KARIMLAN NG NAWALA KA..

ANG KATOTOHANAN KO’Y NAGSISIMULA,

PAG AKO’Y NANANAGINIP NA..

HINDI KO KAYANG HARAPIN ANG KATOTOHANANG WALA NA,

ANG DAHILAN NG AKING LIGAYA..

WALA AKONG MAGAGAWA KUNG NAISIN KONG BUMALIK KA..

KAHIT NA ANG NAIS KO AY MAKITA KANG MASAYA..

KUMUBLI NA SA ULAP,

AT NANAHIMIK ANG LANGIT..

WALA NG MGA KULAY,

WALA NA DING AWIT..

MALUPIT ANG BAWAT ARAW,

PATI NA ANG BAWAT SAGLIT..

SUMUKO NA SA KALUNGKUTAN ANG PUSO KONG NASA DAPIT.

HINDI NA KINAYANG MABUHAY,

NAKAKULONG SA REALIDAD ANG MGA ALAALA..

SA BAWAT PANAGINIP KO AY NAROON KA..

YAON NA ANG KATOTOHANANG KAYA KONG HARAPIN..

PARA SA AKI’Y NAGSISIMULA ANG PANAGINIP SA BAWAT KONG PAG GISING..

SA AKING PAGTULOG AY NAGSISIMULANG LAHAT.

PAGPIKIT NG MGA MATA’Y LUMILIWANAG AT IKAW AY AKING YAKAP..

LABYRINTH

THE WORLD GAVE UP ON ME.

LONG BEFORE IT GAVE ME A CHANCE.

THE SUN WAS DOWN, LONG BEFORE I COULD DANCE..

THE SOUND, THE MUSIC, AND COLORS I ALWAYS SEE..

ALL DISAPPEARED BEFORE ME..

I WAS SOLD TO A WORLD AS COLD, AS CAN BE..

NOBODY CARED, NOBODY COULD SEE..

I DIED EACH TIME I GOT UP..

I SMILED, JUST SO I COULD KEEP UP..

A SONG NO ONE ELSE COULD HEAR.

KEPT RINGING IN MY EAR..

THE MORE I IGNORE,

THE MORE I DISAPPEAR..

FOR EACH TIME IT DID,

I FELT AND I COULD FEEL..

I SWORE NEVER TO LET MYSELF GO..

FOR MY HAPPINESS BECAME MY FOE.

I CRIED ON THE INSIDE AND SCREAMED OUT LOUD..

LAUGHED AND SMILED FOR ALL THE WORLD TO SEE..

NO ONE KNEW..

I DARE NOT TELL..

NO ONE WILL SEE..

WHAT I DID FELT..

I SHALL BURY MY HAPPINESS,

WITHIN MYSELF..

UNTIL I SATISFY A FAMILY WHO NEEDS MY HELP.. 

KATAPUSAN

ANG KARIMLAN NA SUMASALAMIN SA AKING PAGKATAO,

ANG PATULOY NA GUMIGISING SA GUNITA.

ISANG MAPAGKUNWARING MINSAHERO,

NA ANG KAPAYAPAAN, KAILANMA’Y DI NATAGPUAN.

PATULOY ANG KASINUNGALINGAN,

SA HINAGAP NA LAMANG UMAASA,

KUNG SAAN NAGKUKUBLI ANG SAYA.

HINDI MATAGPUAN ANG IPINAPANGAKO SA IBA .

PAWANG NAKANGITI AT PATULOY NA NAKAKUBLI,

SA ANINO NG KAHAPONG DI KO MAPATAWAD.

NAKALARAWAN SA MURANG KATAWAN,

AT SUMASALAMIN SA ISIPAN,

ANG REALIDAD NA KAILANMA’Y DI MAIINTINDIHAN.

TANGAN NG KAHAPON ANG KATINUANG,

NAWAGLIT AT TULUYAN NG NAITAPON.

ISINUMPA NG SUPLING SA KAHINAAN NG BULONG,

ANG PANGYAYARING NAGTAPOS AT SUMIRA NG KAHAPON.

WALA NG MAKAKARINIG SA SIGAW KO NGAYON.

TULUYAN NG MATATAPOS ANG DI PAGTUGON.

WALA NA ANG AKING KATINUAN,

WALA NA RIN ANG PANINGIN.

DI KO NA MAKIKITA AT DI NA RIN MAPAPANSIN.

SA MALAMLAM NA ILAW NG AKING KATAUHAN.

UTANG KONG BUHAY NGAYO’Y WAWAKASAN.

WALA NA ANG IPINAPANGAKONG BUKAS!

DI NA DARATING ANG ARAW NG PAGTAKAS.

SA BAWAT PAGPIKIT AT TAHIMIK NA PAGTANGGAP,

SA KAPALARANG KAY PAIT AT BUMIHAG SA PANGARAP.

SA NAGNAKAW NG BUKAS AT BANAL NA ULIRAT.

SA PANANAW NG KAMATAYAN AT DIYOS NG TAPAT..

TULUYAN AKONG INIWAN, WALA NANG LAHAT!… 

EMPTY

SHE LONGED TO BE ALONE,

QUIETLY ASKING WHY..

ALL HER TROUBLES FALL LIKE RAIN..

NEVER STOPPING THE PAIN.

AMONG THE DEAD ARE THE PEOPLE WHO STOOD.

FALLEN ARE THE WICKED, THATS ALL IT TOOK.

THROUGH ALL HER TROUBLES AND A CALLING FOR DARKNESS.

WHAT FELT SO EMPTY ONCE WAS REAL,

AND ALL THATS TRUE BECAME SO CLEAR.

FOR ALL SHE WAITED IS A LITTLE CHEER.

AND ALL THAT REMAINED WAS HERE.

TOO LONG HAVE I STOOD AGAINST THE SHADOWS.

THEY LIE BUT SPEAK THE TRUTH ABOUT TOMORROW.

EVERYTHING WAS CALM AND SWEET FOR HER DELUDED PAST.

TILL THE MOMENT OF AWAKENING AND AGHAST.

THOUGH THINGS WERE UNCLEAR BUT NOT A MOMENT TO SPARE,

SHE RAN THROUGH THE VALLEYS NAKED AND DECLARED..

FOR ALL THE SORROWS, THAT SHE HAS KEPT.

EVERYTHING WILL WORK OUT WHEN SHE LEFT..

AS THE JUMP ENDED IN ITS RIGHTFUL PLACE..

THE PRICE SHE PAID WAS FULL OF DISGRACE

SUICIDE

DEAR FRIENDS OR WHOEVER HEARS ME STILL.

I’VE COME TO MY REALITY, THE URGE TO KILL .

THE CLOUDS OF GLOOM THAT TOOK OVER MY HEART,

IS HERE TO STAY, TEARING ME APART.

I LEFT ALL OF LIFE BEHIND ME.

NOW I’M NUMB AND WITH NOTHING BEFORE ME..

INSIDE THIS ROOM WHERE IT ALL BEGAN..

THEY BREAK MY SPIRIT, TILL I AM DAMNED.

IN THE MIDST OF MY OWN DARKNESS AND HELL.

I WAS ALONE AS I USUALLY FELT..

THEY GATHERED AROUND ME SEALING MY FAITH.

NEVER UNDERSTOOD WHY I DO IT, THE EXITEMENT OF THE BLADE.

AS THE COLD MOURNING HORRORS DRAG ME.

TO THAT HORRID PLACE THAT DID DESERVE ME..

I LOOKED AND FOUND NOTHING TO SEE.

THE ONLY THING REMAINED IS WHO I OUGHT TO BE.

MY LIFE I ENDED AND I AM AT FAULT.

FOR NOBODY WARNED ME OF THE SADNESS I CAUGHT.

TO MY LONELY ROOM I CHOSE TO STAY.

WITH THIS GRAY WALLS AND THE SMELL OF DECAY..

HOME IS WHERE I LOST MY WAY,

AND HOME IS WHERE I’LL ALWAYS LAY..

UNCOVER

20 YEARS HAVE PASSED..
THE VOICES IN MY HEAD NEVER SLEEPS..
HERE I WAIT IN THIS DESERTED PLACE,
FOR THAT SOMEONE I HAVE NEVER SEEN.
HE DISAPPEARED..
MONSTERS TOOK HIM AWAY..
NEVER TO RETURN..
I SEEK JUSTICE THAT I CAN’T FIND
LIKE EMPTY FEELINGS OF LONGING.
I CRIED TILL I CAN’T CRY NO MORE..
I STOOD EVERYDAY TO THAT PLACE WHERE THEY LEFT HIM..
WITH A SHOVEL AND A PRAYER I HOPED,
THAT SOMEDAY I’D SEE MY BELOVED AGAIN..

PASSED

I LOOKED AT MY WIFES FACE AS SHE LAY THERE..

SHE LOOKED BETTER WITH THOSE WHITE SHEETS AROUND HER.

LIKE SOME DREAM OF A PRINCESS SLEEPING IN PEACE..

I DREAMT OF THE DAY, SHE WOULD AWAKEN.

DROWSY WITH THE FEELING OF CONTENT..

FOR I KNEW I’LL BE HERE AND SEE HER THROUGH..

I’D BE THE HERO SHE WAITED TO SEE..

I WAS THE ONE ALL ALONG AND SHE’LL BE WITH ME.

AS DAYS GO BY SHE LOSES HER BEAUTY,

MY BELOVED IS DEAD MY ONLY DEITY .

THEY EAT HER FLESH FROM THE INSIDE OUT,

AS I HELD HER CLOSE WITHOUT A DOUBT..

I AM STILL HOPING SHE’LL AWAKEN,

THOUGH DARK I KNOW THIS PATH I HAVE TAKEN..

SO HERE IN MY CASTLE THAT’S NOW OUR TOMB..

I CHOSE TO WAIT WITH SHADOWS OF GLOOM..

THOSE WHO DARE NOT SPEAK

THERE WAS A TIME WHEN I BELIEVED IN SOMETHING..

BACK THEN I WAS NAIVE AND INNOCENT..

I BELIEVED IN THE GOODNESS OF EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING..

TILL THAT FAITHFUL NIGHT, WHEN ALL OF THAT CHANGED..

I DUG DEEP TO UNDERSTAND..

I STRUGGLED IN SILENCE, A PRISONER OF PAIN..

I DREAD THE NIGHTS WHEN THE SHADOWS WOULD COME AND HAVE ME..

THE THREAT OF EACH SUNSET GETS SO REAL BY THE MINUTE..

I THOUGHT OF A PLACE WHERE I COULD BE HAPPY..

I MAKE BELIEVE EACH TIME DEPRESSION TAKES ME..

THE PAINFUL TRUTH THAT AWAKES ME..

THE SADNESS OF THE HOPELESSNESS ..

PITY IS ALL THAT I FELT, I CRIED ALONE..

SCREAMED WITHIN MY SELF..

I DONT WANT TO MOVE ON, THERE’S NO TOMORROW FOR ME..

I WAS STUCK IN THE NIGHT OF NEVERENDING DARKNESS..

THE LIGHT IS GONE AND ALONE WITH THE SHADOWS OF MY MORBID FAITH..

NO ONE DARED KNOW, NO ONE WILL UNDERSTAND, NO ONE WILL LOVE ME, I HEARED THEM SAY..

IF I TELL, MY LIFE WOULD BE A LIVING HELL!

IF THEY KNEW THE THINGS I HIDE, I WOULD KNOW THE TRUTH..

I AM ALONE WHEN I WAS BORN AND ALL ALONE SHALL I GO..

I WON’T LET THEM DO ME ANYMORE..

HERE WITH THE VOICES IN MY HEAD I MAKE BELIEVE..

THAT THE BEST IS YET TO COME, AS I STEP CLOSER TO THE END OF THIS LEDGE..

I CLOSE MY EYES AND SEE MY DREAM, A FAMILY.

THEY WILL HOLD ME UNTIL I WON’T CRY NO MORE..

I WOULD FORGET AND MY EYES WILL DRY UP..

NO LONGER WILL I FEEL PAIN..

THE PLACE WHERE I HOPED TO BE WILL END WITH ME…

TODAY I’LL  PUT AN END TO A LIFE THAT MOCKED ME.

THE UNIVERSE WILL LAUGH AND THE BIRDS WILL SING..

THE NIGHTS WOULD END WITH EVERYTHING THE SAME..

I WOULD BE REMEMBERED AS A LUNATIC WHOM NO ONE UNDERSTOOD..

THE SHADOWS WILL KEEP WITHIN THEMSELVES THE TRUTH..

THEY’LL FIND A NEW INNOCENT, WHOM NO ONE WOULD BELIEVE..

SHE WILL TRY AND FIGHT, BUT WILL FAIL IN THE END,

CURSE THIS LIFE AND EVENTUALLY DIE OF A BROKEN SPIRIT.

UNTIL SHE PARTS FROM THIS WORLD WITH UNBEARABLE SUFFERING..

THE ANGELS WILL WEEP BUT I KNOW THEY’D UNDERSTAND..

I JUST WANTED TO BE IN THE PROMISE LAND..

BUT I KNOW WHAT I DID WILL MAKE THEM TURN ME AWAY..

SO I’LL DO WHAT I DO BEST..

MY DREAMS WILL TAKE ME TO A PLACE I WANTED..

THERE HAPPINESS WILL START WHEN I DREAM AGAIN..